Made the enormous blunder of booking tickets for the night show of Bel Ami tonight… for a family outing. I thought it’d be a nice surprise, because my Mom’s been wanting to catch a movie for a while and my sister just got done with her midterms.
Yeah. NOPE. Pattinson’s wooden, awkward acting (you seem cool in your interviews and you used to be Cedric I WANT TO LIKE YOU why do you make it so goddamn difficult) is the icing on top of a weird, amorphous, unintelligible cake.
Also the said cake involves lots of gratuitous, dispassionate sex scenes and sketchy character arcs that make little sense. I need to reserve judgment on the story until I read the book though.
Guy de Maupassant can do no wrong, if you ask me. The man was a genius. He must be rolling in his grave at this pathetic cinematic adaptation of his work.
However, I digress.
My Dad fell asleep twenty minutes into the movie and was snoring so loudly that we decided to leave at halftime. Most people walked out earlier.
I don’t think my family’s going to forgive me anytime soon for putting them through this.
The only saving grace of this movie, which a critic correctly described as ‘the perfect film to cure someone of an obsession with “RPatz,”’ is Uma Thurman, looking flawlessly beautiful in the costumes of a previous era.
Ugh just checked the Rotten Tomatometer and this movie got 28%; I’m not surprised. Why didn’t I check this earlier. WHY.
Spontaneity is overrated. K? K.